


The list

by Nik0lai



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco Malfoy Needs a Hug, Ministry of Magic (Harry Potter), Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Draco Malfoy, Sick Character, Therapy, corrupt government, its getting better slowly, lucius is in prison
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 03:11:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20668349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nik0lai/pseuds/Nik0lai
Summary: "I truly don't think I understand the task you are setting me Mira" he murmured as the blank parchment seemed to expand between his fingers, steadily spiralling out of focus and suddenly snapping back into place as Amira asked him a question"Hmm?" tired grey eyes rolled up to the old mind-healers face and she smiled, the edges of her face creasing like folding linen as she repeated"What things do you find make you unconsciously smile, Draco? I want you to go out for me this week and just write down anything that makes you think happy thoughts rather than focussing on the bad."or..Draco gets sanctioned therapy so he doesn't go to Azkaban and he's trying to help himself but it's a struggle y'all. He gets given a list as a long term project of self discovery





	The list

**Author's Note:**

> hee hee. ok so this is I think my first time doing a story almost exclusively from Draco's POV so give me comments about how y'all think that went.

Draco sighed quietly as he looked down at the empty parchment that was going to have a list staring back at him (or at least a start), stating the things he had to live for. An exercise for yourself to look at whenever you're feeling everything too keenly, Draco. I know you have moments of hyperfixation on the negativity you think is always poised towards you, Almira stated as she leaned back in her soft looking chair opposite him, old eyes staring gently into his vacant expression. He always wondered if her chair was actually as soft as it looks or if Almira just radiates softness and makes everything around her feel fuzzy and soft and homely in a way Malfoy manor never was allowed to be for him.

"I truly don't think I understand the task you are setting me Mira" he murmured as the blank parchment seemed to expand between his fingers, steadily spiralling out of focus and suddenly snapping back into place as Amira asked him a question

"Hmm?" tired grey eyes rolled up to the old mind-healers face and she smiled, the edges of her face creasing like folding linen as she repeated

"What things do you find make you unconsciously smile, Draco? I want you to go out for me this week and just write down anything that makes you think happy thoughts rather than focussing on the bad. It could be something simple like something looking pretty, something that makes you relax, or maybe even someone that makes you feel happy or safe. It might seem weird at first taking the parchment everywhere, but we can make it an ongoing project if you like?"

and so it was with rather a lot of reluctance (and embarrassment) that he stepped out of the comfy chair clutching the empty parchment at the end of the session. It's fine, he loves lists _so_ much it's fine, honestly..

* * *

"Yes, mother a list." They'd been over the details for a while and this was the third time she had stopped to check that he wasn't being funny. "Well she _ seems_ credible enough, but she is ministry sanctioned so maybe.." mother got lost in her head again, going on about plots against the ancient and noble house of Black and Malfoy being ground into the dust, forgetting that if it hadn't have been for father and aunty Bella then they would _ still_ have the reputation that he remembered from his childhood, but as it was now, a once great estate had been torn down leaving them with only the black townhouse (technically legally Potters) and some real estate in France. She was becoming forgetful and honestly it was hard to watch, because she was the most he had at the moment and if she got wheeled away to St Mungo's long term psychiatric unit he would be left alone with nothing but cold empty houses and Almira, and both of those were easily taken away.

"How's your tea, mother?" he asked deliberately changing the subject so that his mind would not float unfortunately because it seemed Mira _was _right. He does tend to drift magnetically towards feelings of what will be to come in the worse case scenario rather than focussing on the now.

"The tea is most lovely dear. I almost can't believe you made it and not the elves" ah, that. Bollocks. He was learning in case of a worse case scenario how to cook for himself both with and without magic. He felt a little like a doomsday prepper, but with a slightly more realistic need potentially ahead of him.

"Tipsy is helping me learn even if she was quite upset at first"

"I remember dear everyone was weeping all over the place after your explanation, even you couldn't wait until you were in a private room, don't think I didn't see you. It's okay to let your emotions out that way, it's cathartic and whilst what your father taught you was mainly etiquette, don't thin kfor a second that he didn't love you" fuck, there she goes getting him all emotional again. He's tried (pathetically obviously if looking at him now) to compartmentalize his emotions to a room in his mind and it's starting to look suspiciously like Mira's room but that's something to focus on later.

Draco took a deep breath in then looked to the clouds in the otherwise blue sky trying to stop anything from falling down his face. When he finally could bear to look down again he rose from his seat and knelt in front of his mother, clasping her dainty hands between his "I love you mother. Don't ever forget it because of stupid pureblood etiquette. If there's one thing you can't forget, it's that I love you and if you dare try and forget these words I'll just have to come to you every day and tell you them." 

They both seemed shocked at his words and mother let out a small hiccup of a laugh and leant all the way down and kissed his cheek and smoothed his hair, eyes glistening, as she did when he was a child.

* * *

When Draco finally laid in his bed that night he rolled over to look at his desk standing next to the window letting in a steady stream of moonlight because he was stupid and forgot to close the curtains and left his stupid wand by the blasted parchment. The blasted parchment which he had thought of the first item to write upon it.

Sighing (mostly for his own personal entertainment) he heaved himself out of his comfy warm bed and shuffled over to the desk and flopped onto his less comfortable chair and pulled a previously opened jar of black ink towards him as he created a lumos and stuck his wand behind his ear like it was a pencil and got a quill end out to dip and write with.

With all the care he could at nearly midnight he wrote out the first item on the list that was supposedly going to expand exponentially as an 'ongoing project'

_1\. Holding hands with someone I can't imagine living without, my mother._

Feeling happy that he could finally sleep without that on his conscious he walked back to his bed and slid into the warm pocket of blanket left behind and fell into sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all who come enjoy the story. I have a list planned out but might fuck around and change it completely. We'll have to see ;-)  
Leave kudos, likes, whatever you want if you liked it and it's always good to get feedback


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